Runner Post 12/96 Chapter 3 part four

I made it to my brother's house today!!! He has funny hair and I like to look at him, but today we found a shoe and there was a lot of explosions, but I don't quite know which country we're even in anymore. I think this is Alaska or something.

Cold Boy followed me into the house and we played cards until my brother showed up. He was wearing a blazer and a sunglasses and some other stuff like shoes. "Hello Billy" he said.

"Hello Guy" I said because his name is Guy Everyblogger.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM" he shouted because he didnt' see us come in (because we are stealthy like that hehhehhehhehheh).

"Your mom's vaginaaaa"

And he just stared at meb ecuase he had nothing to say to this because it was true.

"So anyway we came because Blind Man said you were kidnapped, is this true?"

"This is true. I am currently kidnapped, you are talking to a proxy."

"WHAT"
"WHAT" Cold Boy said because also Cold Boy was here

"I am a proxy. The Slenderman came to me last night, his tentacles touched mea nd I could feel his presence nearby. So I went out into the backyard and wandered into the local forest, and there I could see these papers that I have brought with me here"

What does all this mean?

Oh yeah and then Guy died because Slenderman shot him.

Runner Post 11/96 Chapter 3 part three

Going to my brother's house today.

Runner Post 10/96 Chapter 3 part two

Hello this is Billy Everyblogger, hehehehehe bet you couldn't tell because I am now on a different account. Well guess what, I am officially a genius because I was walking along the highway with Cold Boy (I bet it's called a motorway over here in Candada but screw politics) when I saw freaking Jordan Dooling with a journal except his journal was a laptop. It was just like RAPTURE but with a laptop!!!

So I punched him and took the laptop and ran. And then I hacked onto this blog because I am actually a master hacker. Wow Jordan has a lot of porn on here.

lol what the fuck Jordan, nobody wants to see this kinky porn stuff. You're gross.

Anyway, I see a gas station up ahead (or is it a petrol station stupid Candada) so I'm gonna stop and buy some food. By which I mean steal it. Being a Runner kicks ass!!!

Runner Post 9/96 Chapter 3 part one

I am going through Canadada right now. It's so cold here like what the fuck, hasn't Canadaa ever heard of heaters, am I right?

I see a little boy over there. He looks gay. Don't look now, but I think he might be a Slenderman. I'm going to go talk to him.

Hello

"Hello"

My name is Billy Everyblogger

"My name is Cold Boy, I am a Slenderman"

It is nice to meet you Cold Boy, I am a Slenderman too (not really hehehehehehe).

"Oh cool what are you the Slenderman of, I am the Slenderman of isolation and cold!!!"

That is lame, I mean I am the Slenderman of blogging. I attack those who keep blogs. Which is why I am keeping a blog. I am also the Slenderman of fire and darkness and misery.

"Oh cool that is so original!!!!!! Let's be friends Billy."

So now I have a Slenderman friend.

Runner Post 8/96 Chapter 2 part three

Hurry up and go home
Or the place will be gone
And your apple will fall
And you will land on your balls
So shut the blog down
And wear it like a crown
We will be here to drown
Every bit of wedding gown
WHY SO SERIOUS, BILLY EVERBLOGGER
DID YOU EVER ONCE THINK THIS WOULD BE A DOORSTOPPER
Because the adventure is barely only even beginging.

Brace yourself. Darkness is on the rise and there will come soft rain.
It infects this story just like all the others.
Taste it for yourself. The longer this goes on, the harder the crash will refrain.
They don't know, so I teach their brothers.

Come on down, Billy Everyblogger. It's about time you got introduced to my PLAN.

Runner Post 7/96 Chapter 2 part two

"Wait up" he said.

"Hello" I said. "Where am I?"

"You are in the gathering of the murder face. I am Blind Man and I am a Slendemran. You have questions so ask them and I will think about anwering them."

"Where am I?"

"You are in the gathering of the murder face."

"This looks like a Wal Mart parking lot" but I didn't want to say this so I didn't. "What do you want with me?"

"You are the chosen one. You could even say you are............. Teh Zombie." And then I was a zombie. "But no really you are actually The Lamb."

"Is RAPTURE IS BURNING a real story?"

"No it is just the basis for greatness and you will comply or else you will lose your sanity."

"What do you want with me?"

"You will have to go through a series of very difficult hard and difficult tasks if you want to save your brother."

"OH NO MY BROTHER"

"Yes we have your brother, Billy Everyblogger. You have no chance to survive and you will realize soon taht you have no time left to play. We have to hurry or the legion of Obama will realize its full potential and all wil be lost to the great dark eternal night of Nyarlaatalatep or whatever his name is."

"I don't understand."

"You will soon." And then I woke up and I was on a highway. I was now alone. I had to hurry, I was on the Run again.

My next stop will be my brother's house in Alaska. It will be a long walk but I think I can make it in a few days unless I run into the Vessel.

Runner Post 6/96 Chapter 2 part one

Hello I'm sorry this took me so long, I've been at school this past week on the run. Er......... past two weeks.

I was sitting in class one day when I looked out the window and there was this guy in sunglasses and a coat and he said to me "Come outisde" except I couldn't hear him because he was outside and I was in class, but I got his message telepathically because he is a Slenderman. So I went outside (my teacher is totally slack, he lets me get high all the time) and the Slenderman was waiting for me (not the Slenderman, this was one of the different Slendermen) and he said

"Hello my name is Blind Man, you killed my father prepare to die!" and pulled out a pistol. This was just like the fight in OH MY GOD RAPTURE BURNS so I turned into a minotaur and we had a big exciting duel.

He punched me with his gun and I neighed because I was a horse and I shot out a blast of energy and then Grey showed up and we had a battle with energy, but this was so cool because it was Grey and he is so cool, so we had the energy battle and the coolness went up through the roof and Blind Man stood where except his sunglasses reflected our battle like a simile.

The battle lasted two hours and we used a lot of energy, but when it was nearly over I punched Blind Man in the face and took his gun and shot Grey with it and then Grey nearly died and so he ran off.

Blind Man pulled out a book and said to me "You need more intelligcence in your diet" and so he swung the book at me and hit me over the head only it was Lord of the Rings so it was the biggest book ever and it knocked me out.

Runner Post 5/96 Chapter 1 part five

That was the most amazing fight in the whole world. Betsy happened to be carrying a video camera so we got it on tape.




I think Slenderman's presence caused a bit of distortion though. Oh well, I think you can just about see it.

Anyway so after the fight, we ran out of the hotel and there was this gas mask guy spraypainting more strange symbols on the walls and as soon as Slenderman saw him he backed off so we stuck by the gas mask guy and he talked to us for a bit.

"Hello mortals, how are you gentlemen?" "Not bad other than we just fought the fucking goddamn shitting Slenderman, motherfucker." "I see, that's too bad because I had some answers to tell you about the Destiny of the forerunners." "You knew Obama?" "I knew all the Obamas. You see there was a long Egyptian ancient dynasty of pharaohs named Obama, the one you fought was the thirty-first." "You knew we fought him? How did you know?" "I know everything you do, Billy Everyblogger. I am The Archangle, and I am just a dream. You will wake up soon but I am speaking purely metaphorically of course. The allegory of this metaphor is too allegorical to relocate an alloy of theoretical fixation, and the anomalous materials have some xen that is too enigmatic for the phallic intrusion to ejaculate another section of subsequent loquaciousness." This guy was really smart, I couldn't understand his language because he was clearly eldritch. But wait. Eldritch.......? This gave me an idea, so I asked "Are you a Slenderman?" "Yes Billy, I am a Slenderman." Betsy said "There are multiple Slendermen?!!!!??!?" Archangle said "Yes Betsy, there are over twenty of us. The Unnamed Child is a Slenderman, the doll from your past is a Slenderman, even Slenderman is a Slenderman, I am a Slenderman too." "This is way too intense, but if there are all these Slendermen then what does that make us?" "You are not Slendermen, so you must die."

And then Betsy's face exploded and I had to go back on the Run but not before I took a picture of the mysterious symbols Archangle had drawn on the wall.

I have the feeling that these symbols are important.  Maybe if I take enough pictures of them, we can all figure out the meaning? It's like The DaVinci Code but instead of gay France there's like Slendermen and this is REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Runner Post 4/96 Chapter 1 part four

I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator.

I know I said the blog was over and that I was giving up but take a look at this:

THERE WAS A PROXY AT MY FRONT DOOR.


I HAD to leave. So I punched him in the face and ran out the door and the entire street was empty, too empty, so I ran to my friend Betsy's house and he told me "It has begun" so we both drove to a hotel and booked a room. Things were going well but then there was a knock at the door and there was Slenderman so I ran and hid in the refrigerator and here I am.

I don't think he's heard me typing, though I'm typing pretty loudly. Uh-oh, he just opened the door.

..he grabbed a can of beer and then closed it again. I'm so scared right now.

Runner Post 3/96 Chapter 1 part three

Fuck this, I hate Running. I give up. I went home, and I'm going to go back to school and go back to living a normal life. I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. This blog is over, and the fact that there are posts after this one is something you should just ignore. I'm saying the blog is over, and that makes all the difference.

Runner Post 2/96 Chapter 1 part two

I've been walking a very long way. I'm already at the east coast, I'm at New Jersey. On the way, I met this guy calling himself Jack Oval. Or something. Sounds Russian.

So we walked along a bit and then this guy showed up wearing a mask, and I took a picture of him.

I knew immediately that this guy was going to kill me, so I shot him because I got a gun at the nearest town. And as he died, we had a conversation.

"The... destiny..... of the... forerunners..... is..... coming to.... fruition.... my friend..... and you might be wondering... a few things.... well let me tell you.... I can tell you.... everything.... or I can tell you.... nothing...... and that is my choice... so I will tell you.... everything..... because I just realized...... I am going to die..... and my wife will never know.... my name.... or my..... allegiance to... the... Tall Thin Prince of Darkness and Chaos......"

I said "Do you mean the Slenderman?" and he said "No... I... mean.... The Unnamed Child....." "What is the Unnamed Child" I said? "The.. Unnamed Child.. is this...... hive mind... of birds....... the Fear of Death........"

I suddenly realized exactly what he was talking about. There were one-hundred and twenty-two birds surrounding us, so I screamed and they flew away.

The man chuckled and coughed up blood. "You will... never...... be free........ ever again....." and I asked "What's your name?" "Hoo... hoo... hoo..... my name.. is Obama......."

Of course. That explains the notes I have been receiving for the past week saying "OBAMA IS COMING TO KILL YOU."

"Tell my wife..... that I..... love her......" So I put on some sunglasses and said "I imagine she knows that." And then Jack pressed Play on a nearby TV and CSI Miami came on and it was exactly at the intro.

Then he died and we moved on. Proxies are stupid, I hate them.

Runner Post 1/96 Chapter 1 part one

The strangest thing happened: Slenderman actually appeared. I was driving to my girlfriend's house (because I forgot to mention I can drive and I have a girlfriend) and I happened to have my camera out on the dashboard when he appeared.

I swear to god it was him, and so I ran him over but then he ran after my car and I drove faster. Just when I thought I was gonna get away, I saw him hijack a car and drive after me and we had a car chase.

We drove through so many streets and we even drove through Downtown and the cops started chasing us so we helped each other escape (because even Slenderman agrees: Fuck da po-lice, seriously) and by the time we had gotten away, we were in Ohio (we were originally in California).

So around here, I noticed Slenderman was no longer chasing me and that I was alone. But then I heard a loud honk and saw (I expected to see Lord English or Gamzee, hahaha) a giant sixteen-wheeler truck with "KFC FREE CHICKEN" on the side headed right for my car and we were now in a one-lane road, so I dived out of the car and did a double-somersault into some bushes and it stung and behind me the truck smashed into my car and wrecked it, and as it drove by I looked in the passenger's seat and there was Slenderman but in the driver's seat there was a black dog!!!!!!!

Now I am on the run. I guess I'm a Runner, just like Morningstar or Alex (you know the one I mean). Luckily I had made sure to bring my badass Hibachi XK2L7 HeroHaruHorakajilapidos 8X5''' blades, complete with engraved indigo ivory holsters and thirty cup holders in the shape of tits. Because I knew I would go on the Run.

But now I am trying to figure out what the deal was with that dog that was with Slenderman. I mean, what is this, the Slender Scooby-Doo Show, hahaha! It's so gay?

Opening Post 8/8

fadsjgsdfhddfshjhgfdsafghjkwer0eutrofgdsjifajreyegfd blueberries and syrup
i'm cave johnson, i own the place asdjfgggsiadmsaofgsdfjdfsjadsifshdiughifjdsagiosdvcjdsx

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penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis
fdsjfgjh9jr9egfdicsjfidcxf8djicdfijsijfgsijafdsijadfsjidfas
adfsjdfsjfdjsfdsj check out the tits on that one f9dsjghgfke3u8243u8535785296769403terfdfsd
fdasgsjh0jfa0fjagjasgfgsdghdgfgfdfdsacsdcdfff
the curse of klopman's diamond is fdjaisghjiewadfjsfdsjifejidfjdfjdfijdfjidfjidfjidfjidfjfd

hoo

hoo

hoo

it begins
..batman, that is
batman begins

CAN YOU FEEL LIFE MOVIN THROUGH YOUR MIND
OOOOOOH LOOKS LIKE IT CAME BACK FOR MORE YEAH
CAN YOU FEEL TIME SLIPPIN DOWN YOUR SPINE
OOOOOOH YOU TRY AND TRY TO IGNORE YEAH
BUT YOU CAN HARDLY SWALLOW cum
YOUR FEARS AND PAIN
WHEN YOU CAN'T HELP BUT FOLLOW
IT PUTS YOU RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU CAAAAME
weeeowwwwweeeow
LIVE AND LEARN
HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
FROM THE WORKS OF YESTERDAY
LIVE AND LEARN
IF YOU BEG OR IF YOU BORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
YOU MAY NEVER FIND YOUR WAY
WHOAAAAAAOOOOHHHYEAH
CAN YOU FEEL LIFE TANGLE YOU UP INSIDE
YEAH NOW YOU'RE FACE DOWN ON THE FLOOR
OH
BUT YOU CAN TAME YOUR SORROW
YOU'VE PAID IN TRAAAAAAAAAAINS
WHEN YOU CAN'T HELP BUT FOLLOW
IT PUTS YOU RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU CITIZEN KANE
LIVE AND LEARN
HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
FROM THE WORKS OF YESTERDAY
LIVE AND LEARN
IF YOU BEG OR IF YOU BORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
YOU MAY NEVER FIND YOUR WAY
RURRRRRRR
WHOA WHOA WHOA OH YEAAAAAH
JOHN PETRUCCI JUN SENOUE GUITAR SOLO
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
GUITAR SOLO
THERE'S A FACEs strange and secret SEARCHING FAR SO FAR AND WIDE
THERE'S A PLACE WHERE YOU DREAM YOU'D NEVER FIND
HOLD ON TO WHAT IF
HOLD ON TO WHAT IF
NEENURNEENURNEENURNEENUR
LIVE AND LEARN
HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
FROM THE WORKS OF YESTERDAY
LIVE AND LEARN
IF YOU BEG OR IF YOU BORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
YOU MAY NEVER FIND YOUR WAYHEY
LIVE AND LEARN
HANGING ON THE EDGE OF TOMORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
FROM THE WORKS OF YESTERDAY
LIVE AND LEARN
IF YOU BEG ORRRRR IF YOU BORROW
LIVE AND LEARN
YOU MAY NEVER
FIND YOU
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYward son
LIVE AND LEARN
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
LIVE AND LEARN
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH


This blog has been hacked. This explains everything.

Opening Post 7/8

Oh fuck oh shit he's commenting on my posts now oh god this is absolutely terrifying, this is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, I know I'm an attention-whore but this is a scary kind of attention!

I told my parents today about this stalker who's commenting on my blog and they told me I was freaking out over nothing, my parents suck they are so horrible to me, they always treated me like this growing up and it made me dark and moody and a tortured genious and this is why I'm so popular.

They even told me that the giant doll that sat in my room when I slept was all in my head, why are they so mean. On some nights, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and the doll would be sitting on me and she'd put a finger over my lips and say "Shhhhhh, you are going to write a Fearblog." And then I'd fall asleep again. BUT NOBODY BELIEVES ME.

Sometimes I'd spend nights just crying and reading OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING and wishing that I could be like Jordan, that I could meet Salmacis and have a good life instead of this lame boring life that I hate.

Also today on the way to my Dressage Horse contest or whatever it is I do uh COLLEGE, on my way to college I saw a guy wearing a gas mask spraypainting tags on the walls. He left and I took a picture of the strange symbol he drew.

This is all so confusing.

Opening Post 6/8

Oh my god what the fuck oh my god, I totally didn't post that last post, oh my god what the fuck, someone hacked this blog oh my god what do they want with me? I'm so scared right now, oh my god, hacking is a really dangerous and threatening thing and I'm going to jump straight to the conclusion that the hacker wasn't some random person online and that they were actually trying to kill me through text. I am so scared.

What did that person want? This is all so confusing. And instead of being prompted into doing anything like, say, filing a report with the police or telling my friends, I'm just going to sit here and be scared for a few days.

Opening Post 5/8

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN HACKED
MY NAME IS MASKY AND I WILL BE YOUR PROXY FOR TODAY
HERE IS A SERIES OF HELLOS CONVEYING THE 5/8 MOTIF
HELLO
hello
HELLO
hello
hello
HELLO
hello
hello
hello
HELLO
hello
hello
hello
hello
HELLO
hello
hello
hello
hello
hello
HELLO
HELLO
HELLO


I DO NOT KNOW IF I AM ON SLENDERMAN'S SIDE OR EVEN WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY BECAUSE THE PLOT HASN'T BEEN THOUGHT THROUGH THAT FAR YET
BUT THIS HACKED POST IS SUPPOSED TO THREATEN BILLY EVERYBLOGGER INTO DOING SOMETHING
IT IS EVIDENT THAT I HAVE ALL THE POWER RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD OF DOING ANYTHING WITH IT, I AM JUST GOING TO POST CRYPTIC COMMENTS ON EVERY ONE OF BILLY EVERYBLOGGER'S POSTS FROM NOW ON
HOO HOO HOO

Opening Post 4/8

I took a picture of my street on the way to school today. Because I had a school project where I had to take a picture of my street on the way to school.

There's something odd about the picture, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Opening Post 3/8

Today I saw a guy wearing a Cockroach Jesus T-shirt and it reminded me of my favourite story ever titled Homestuck OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING. I'll talk about that story later, I'm only putting it in this post so that when I bring it up later you will be like "THIS IS GENIOUS."

I went to the store today and there was a hot girl with huge tits who was totally checking me out.

Short posts rule.

Opening Post 2/8

Today I went to class and the teacher's gay so I just fell asleep and slept all day. On the way back home from class, I saw this guy standing in the street and he had no face because he was Slenderman but I'm still in my skeptical stages so HE IS NOT SLENDERMAN HAHA DON'T BE SILLY. I think he was stroking a girl's hair.

I got back to home and my friend was waiting for me. He said "Hi." I said "Hi." Then he said "I have something I want to show you" and I said "What?" So then he went into my closet and pulled out a giant book titled The Slenderman Notebook except it was a giant notebook and he opened the notebook and there were pictures of Slenderman drawn. "This is Slenderman," he said. "He is not real" I said. "But George kept this notebook." This made me gasp.

Also George was our friend but he died mysteriously, I forgot to mention.

So I spent the rest of the day going online and looking up the Slenderman. He can't be real, this is stupid, he's just an internet urban legend and in no way will this backfire and completely foreshadow what's going to happen.

Opening Post 1/8

Hey, my name is Billy Everyblogger, but you can just call me THE CRYPTIC KEEPER because badass nicknames are eyecatching and I want more readers. This is a Fearblog that will be about Slenderman but I'm calling it a Fearblog because it'll get me more attention. But of course, this is the opening section of the blog and here I have to keep a sense of realism so your immersion can be fine, so I am currently in college.

I am seventeen but in college because fuck you. I have a healthy dosage of cynicism, and I totally love that one webcomic named Homestuck. I do things ironically because hipsters are so cool, all my friends are hipsters and so I had to become one too. But I hate the mainstream things. I like to wear plaid, my hair is brown but I dye it green to look cool, I have blue eyes and little scratches across my face that I like to call "battle scars" but I really just got them by falling into bushes. I have several swords and stuff in my room, but I tell people I'm a bookworm because books are intellectual and get me attention. I love wearing sunglasses at all times.

I have three friends who come crash at my place at random intervals, and we get drunk because fuck da po-lice, lolololol.

I started this blog because blogs are cool and all my friends have blogs, and I'm probably not going to ever do anything with this blog ever, ignore the fact that you are reading a work of fiction and that the very existence of this blog is so that people can find out what happens to me as I am chased by Slenderman, but that comes later so I'm going to stick to skepticism.

Nobody is ever going to follow this blog.