Sunday, 30 November 2014

Runner Post 58/96

I got home. My girlfriend is okay. Her name is Penelope. We met in 8th grade. My leg's not broken that was a meatphor.

The Slendermen all left me alone. I guess I'll go to the athroom now to say hi to my peeps lol. :D





If I became your proxy? Will you make it all go away?



No please! I don't want to be a proxy! I'm a Runner! I'm running from the Slendermen!



Thursday, 27 November 2014

Runner Post 57/96 Chapter 9 part one

So after the rubble had cleared, I took my bloody crowbar and dragged my broken leg out of there. I had too much to worry about. What was that The Feared One was saying about my girlfriend? I had to get out of there fast, I had to find out if she was okay. I had to stop the Maskies.

But that required getting out of there, which meant I had to fix my broken leg somehow. I was much too far from home.

C'mon you goddamn leg, I said to it. I lifted it up and hit it with my bleeding fist. More blood came out. I hit it again. Bood. Hit it again. More and more more blood. No matter how many times I hit it ike I saw in the movies nothing would happen.

And that's when I realized life wasn't like the movies or any of that fiction. I had to be myself. I had to support myself on my own weight.

So I sucked up the pain and stood right up and limped out of there, newfund courage swirling in my veins.

I am a badass.

Runner Post 56/96 Chapter 8 part five

The Fight
The fight
I'll write it later

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Runner Post 55/96 Chapter 8 part four (In Which I Encounter A Brand New Slenderman)

I was walking along on the way to the bank, my first job ever, when I saw this film crew outside my house. They were filming I dunno some kind of porno or something, and I was totally in on the action, but before I could even say "Hey" the clouds above our heads (they were there) started to split.

Out of the heavens reigned a Brand New Slenderman. His eyes were lightning, his fists were made of metal, he wore a long flowing coat, and he had a Mexican wrestlermask on.

He cackled. His hair was clouds. With one look at the film crew he made them explode into dusts of vomit. One of

One of those was pregnant, I shouted!

"Do you think I care in the long run little matters? I am"

Who are you?

"I am The Feared One. Slenderman of Fear, Dreams and Sleep and Fear."

But. But that's the name of my blog! I had a crowbar in my hand and was ready to swing.

"Do you think I care in the short run long matters? I am not"

I am not in the mood for this, I shrieked. And then I leapt. But The Feared One meerly snapped his golden fingers and we entered another Dimension.

I will descript the fight in the next post.

Thursday, 2 October 2014

Runner Post 53/96: Chapter 8 part two (Vlog!)

I finally decided to set up a video series to document these strange happenings in my life. You can find my channel at this link right here but I'll be posting the videos here too just because that is how social media networking works.

Right now, there are two videos showing me and my friends and the weird ass-shit that happens.

This is the introduction to my channel, for those who stumble upon my channel and don't know who I am. I want them to know who I am. I also want them to know what is happenign to me.

And here is the first entry. It speaks for itself, because even though this stuff is real I am a good cinematographist. I studied under Bach.

Saturday, 20 September 2014

Runner Post 52/96: Chapter 8 part one (Declaration of Slenderpendence)

I was at home and the mailman came by (that's Frenchish for "world," fun fact) and gave me a big pile of papers so I took a picture with my camera.

I am now going to transpose the text onto the screen for your reading eyes.

by Slender Hancock

We the beings of an eldritch nation, in order to form an even more eldritch nation, do so solemnly swear, upon the Mother of Snakes, to give each and every one of us eldritch beings an eldritch bill of rights.

Unless subjected to litigation, every eldritch being has the undeniable right to:

  • Eldritchosity or, the state of being an eldritch being
  • A fancy dress code
  • A law degree
  • Extensive editing software for, the purpose of adding "glitch"-like special effects on other people's videos
  • A YouTube account
  • Liturgy for, the purpose of gaining followers who we can teach the art of video editing so they may follow in the style of classic Slenderist filmmaker Brian Thomas after an intensive editing course and after they have published their master's thesis on the subject
  • A teaching degree for, the purpose of better pursuing the prior right
  • A lifetime supply of WiFi hotspot-enabled portable computers for, the purpose of littering them around the world for bloggers to be able to find and conveniently blog from no matter the circumstance
  • Google's agreement to give we the eldritch beings as many blogs as we want for, the purpose of putting on all the aforementioned WiFi hotspot-enabled portable computers the new blog on the "New Post" option
a) as well as, to install unto every new blog the most default of blog layouts, preferably "Awesome Inc."'s default layout
  • Diplomatic immunity from, any assuredly unrelated deaths that might happen to bloggers within our vicinity when we're angry
  • The complete works of Howard Lovecraft for, the purpose of studying to better troll the bloggers who seem to read his works and only his works
  • Press charges against any blogger who wrongfully labels us as being in the Slender Man Mythos or vice versa without full knowledge of the appropriate legal nomenclature
  • Press charges against any blogger who brings up:
a) the Periwinkle incident
b) the original slender man posts on the Something Awful forums, on the behalf of Victor Surge
c) any connection between The Archangel and hugs
d) the eldritch being who shall not be named
e) any trope bearing resemblance to the "Mister Charles" phenomenon, unless properly instructed on the art of literature
f) the possibility of besting an eldritch being at either Guitar Hero or Rock Band
  • A hacking degree for, the purpose of removing any possibility of selected bloggers simply Googling "The Fear Mythos"
  • Post in OOG Fear Mythos locations for, the purpose of trolling the users to make them think we're a blogger who takes immersion too seriously 
a) or for, the purpose of continuing our collective writing career under the unified pen name "alliterator"
b) or for, the purpose of continuing our collective writing career under the unified pen name "DJay32"
c) or for, the purpose of continuing our collective writing career under the unified pen name "Omega"
d) or for, the purpose of continuing our collective writing career under the unified pen name "Phobos"
e) or for, the purpose of continuing our collective writing career under the unified pen name "ZacksQuest"
f) or for, the purpose of continuing our collective film career under the unified pen name "Salvatore Haran"
  • A degree in literature for, the purpose of better pursuing the prior right stipulations
  • A degree in film for, the purpose of better pursuing the prior right stipulation
  • Lie about how many of us there are and/or the exact extent of our powers
/- except where lying about how many of us there are and/or the exact extent of our powers would be to commit perjury
  • Lie about the definition of "eldritch"
/- except where lying about the definition of "eldritch" would be to commit perjury
  • Troll the shit out of Billy Everyblogger
  • Troll the shit out of proxiehunter
  • Troll the shit out of the entire population of the Somniverse and all subsets
  • File restraining orders on any bloggers fully versed in their country's respective legal system
  • A lifetime supply of Vanilla Coke
We the eldritch beings reserve the right to reserve each and every right on here.

In Fear, We Trust.

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Runner Post 51/96 Chapter 7 part three

I'm posting from in jail. I think I've done too much screwing around this past few months. I think it's about time that I go back to work on stopping the Slendermen or the Obamas or whatever it was that I said I'd do when I started this blog. Wasn't I on the run or something? I honestly can't remember. Hopefully somebody will just show up and we can have a badass fight and that'll fix everything, or maybe if I'm really lucky, an old man will leave his dying will to me and it will consist of a journal and/or some tapes on which I can find some clues to whatever mystery it is I'm supposed to be solving.

I dunno. Or maybe I'll just sit here for another few months. Either way, hi I'm back.