Wednesday 30 April 2014

Sunday 27 April 2014

Wednesday 23 April 2014

Runner Post 34/96 Chapter 6 part six act six

Sorry I was checking a Facebook notification. Did I ever tell you about my friend's blog? It's really cool.

Tuesday 22 April 2014

Runner Post 33/96 Chapter 6 part five

I'm back. Changed my password to A, which was the answer to that code. So now that I have Masky's signed permission, today I'm going to tell you about the Even Greater Game and the History of Obamas.

The Even Greater Game started as a dare from one Slenderman to another about Israel. The Father of Serpents told The Black Queen that he really wanted to take Israel from her, and she did not want that to happen, so they threw Proxies at each other until eventually The Cold Boy (Slenderman of aggression) appeared wielding a scythe and hammer and sickle. He told them to cease fire or else he would shoot his rifle into the air for millions of years, doing serious damage to the Ozone layer and also killing some birds. This threat was serious enough that it singlehandededly stopped the fight for once, twice, and for all. They would go on, the people that is, to write great stories and epic poems about this incident, and they would call this Warhammer 40k.

For the record, and in the interest of keeping the Obama Federation happy, I did not tell the Even Greater Game as it literally happened; it was symbolism. But now I can tell you about the HISTORY OF OBAMAS.

The Obamas started as a dynasty of Slenderman Proxies who rebelled against the government as well as their own tall suited fiend (as I sit in my armchair and sip coke and dope and smoke, I am intelligent). The Slenderman did not back down from their thinly-veiled (or should I say, slenderly-veiled) threats of treason, punishing their leader, John Obama, with a plague of doctors. This is where the Slenderman known as Death, Slenderman of plague, came from. Death stood before the gates of Heaven, asking God to send down an archangel, so the Lord agreed to this condition and sent down Tapes The Impaler to do some damage. Tapes The Impaler is, of course, as you know, the Slenderman of the afterlife. Basically I'll cut to the case, this is where all the Slendermen came from-- just because some Obamas didn't like the tall suited guy.

The Obamas have been, ever since, on the constant run from the tall suited dude (with an ear for punk music), but the problem is that they're also communists.

Monday 21 April 2014

Runner Post 32/96 Chapter 6 part four

HELLO BILLY EVERYBLOGGER
THIS IS MASKY 2.0 "SHADOW" "SHADOW" BEING MY CODENAME OF COURSE
I AM BACK TO ROCK YOUR WORLD I AM WATCHING YOU FROM MY SECRET HEADQUARTERS, DON'T POST ABOUT THE GREATER GAME FOR YOU KNOW OF COURSE WHAT TRULY WENT DOWN ON THAT FATEFUL DATE BACK IN THE 19TH CENTURY CANNOT BE UNDONE NOR SPOKEN OF BY ANYONE LACKING CODE CLEARANCE

FOR CODE CLEARANCE OF COURSE YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER THIS CODE
2 PLUS 5 PLUS 1 MINUS 3 IS
WHAT WAS THE THIRD LETTER OF THAT SENTENCE?

IF YOU DO NOT ANSWER THIS CODE BUT YOU STILL PROCEED TO DISCUSS THE EVEN GREATER GAME AND ALL OF ITS RAMIFICATIONS IN FULL DETAIL IN YOUR NEWEST PUBLISHED BOOK THAT WE KNOW YOU ARE SUBMITTING TO PUBLISHERS EVEN AS WE SPEAK
THEN I WILL BE FORCED TO TAKE THIS TO YOUR WORST ENEMY
BLINDMAN & SLENDERMAN

S33Y00S00N

Thursday 10 April 2014

Runner Post 30/96 Chapter 6 part two

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I had a dance recital to go to. Today I'm going to tell you about the Greater Game.

Founded by DEVOUR and his cronies back when cronies were a thing (and back in the Greatest Age when they knew what they were doing, back when Obamas were just a phase and when Rapture was still just a baby, back before life got hard for all of us), they wanted a safe environment to build treehouses in (so they could smuggle their dope into safe places), so they asked the Slenderman Brigade if there was any chance to have a safe environment in which to build their treehouses in.

All the Slendermen said "No." So war was declared.

Of course, all of this is still just a theory, but Dr. Obama postulated back in 1975 that perhaps this Greater Game was also what spawned the slit in time shifts that caused us to experience this muliverse quandary in the first circumstance. It was that hypotenuse that shook the entire world and caused us to land on the moon, but the government wanted to cover that up, so don't tell anyone.

Tomorrow I might tell you about the Even Greater Game.

Thursday 3 April 2014

Runner Post 28/96 Chapter 5 part five

Masky came to my house today. I hid behind a mailbox and when he entered the front door I followed him with a gun. I heard him shout "WHERE ARE YOU, BILLY?" as he dumped gasoline over my floor. But I still kept hiding, this time in the kitchen. He knocked on the ceiling and shouted "ALL OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT! EVERYONE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!" And then I realized what he was doing: He was trying to break a hole in the timeline! So I tackled him and punched him in the tooth and he just laughed. He said to me, in his dying voice, "My name is Ozymandias Everyblogger. You were my brother... in an alternate timeline." I said to him "Why are you telling me this? You know what the Rick Proclamation of 1872 dictated, don't you" And he said "No, I don't. Could you tell me?" So I put on my bravest face and told him.

He was terrified afterwards. He wouldn't talk to me for days. But after some goading and torture (waterboarding lol) I was able to get him to tell me what his real name was. He said "it was Jared Obama."

"Gasp! You were part of the Obamancipation?"

"Yes, I was part. You were too, were you not?"

"....." I said nothing. I was too scared of the implications.

"You and I have some Core Theory to discuss, don't you, Billy Everyblogger?"

"How about you and I have some YOUR DEATH to discuss!" So I shot him in the mask, but before I could get the finishing blow into his heart, he had vanished, leaving an anonimous laughter and "YOUR PURPOSE IS NEAR" written on my wall in blood.

Then my parents came home and saw the mess and the blood and now I'm grounded.