Masky came to my house today. I hid behind a mailbox and when he entered the front door I followed him with a gun. I heard him shout "WHERE ARE YOU, BILLY?" as he dumped gasoline over my floor. But I still kept hiding, this time in the kitchen. He knocked on the ceiling and shouted "ALL OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT! EVERYONE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!" And then I realized what he was doing: He was trying to break a hole in the timeline! So I tackled him and punched him in the tooth and he just laughed. He said to me, in his dying voice, "My name is Ozymandias Everyblogger. You were my brother... in an alternate timeline." I said to him "Why are you telling me this? You know what the Rick Proclamation of 1872 dictated, don't you" And he said "No, I don't. Could you tell me?" So I put on my bravest face and told him.
He was terrified afterwards. He wouldn't talk to me for days. But after some goading and torture (waterboarding lol) I was able to get him to tell me what his real name was. He said "it was Jared Obama."
"Gasp! You were part of the Obamancipation?"
"Yes, I was part. You were too, were you not?"
"....." I said nothing. I was too scared of the implications.
"You and I have some Core Theory to discuss, don't you, Billy Everyblogger?"
"How about you and I have some YOUR DEATH to discuss!" So I shot him in the mask, but before I could get the finishing blow into his heart, he had vanished, leaving an anonimous laughter and "YOUR PURPOSE IS NEAR" written on my wall in blood.
Then my parents came home and saw the mess and the blood and now I'm grounded.
Ozymandias. Of course!
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