Runner Post 5/96 Chapter 1 part five

That was the most amazing fight in the whole world. Betsy happened to be carrying a video camera so we got it on tape.




I think Slenderman's presence caused a bit of distortion though. Oh well, I think you can just about see it.

Anyway so after the fight, we ran out of the hotel and there was this gas mask guy spraypainting more strange symbols on the walls and as soon as Slenderman saw him he backed off so we stuck by the gas mask guy and he talked to us for a bit.

"Hello mortals, how are you gentlemen?" "Not bad other than we just fought the fucking goddamn shitting Slenderman, motherfucker." "I see, that's too bad because I had some answers to tell you about the Destiny of the forerunners." "You knew Obama?" "I knew all the Obamas. You see there was a long Egyptian ancient dynasty of pharaohs named Obama, the one you fought was the thirty-first." "You knew we fought him? How did you know?" "I know everything you do, Billy Everyblogger. I am The Archangle, and I am just a dream. You will wake up soon but I am speaking purely metaphorically of course. The allegory of this metaphor is too allegorical to relocate an alloy of theoretical fixation, and the anomalous materials have some xen that is too enigmatic for the phallic intrusion to ejaculate another section of subsequent loquaciousness." This guy was really smart, I couldn't understand his language because he was clearly eldritch. But wait. Eldritch.......? This gave me an idea, so I asked "Are you a Slenderman?" "Yes Billy, I am a Slenderman." Betsy said "There are multiple Slendermen?!!!!??!?" Archangle said "Yes Betsy, there are over twenty of us. The Unnamed Child is a Slenderman, the doll from your past is a Slenderman, even Slenderman is a Slenderman, I am a Slenderman too." "This is way too intense, but if there are all these Slendermen then what does that make us?" "You are not Slendermen, so you must die."

And then Betsy's face exploded and I had to go back on the Run but not before I took a picture of the mysterious symbols Archangle had drawn on the wall.

I have the feeling that these symbols are important.  Maybe if I take enough pictures of them, we can all figure out the meaning? It's like The DaVinci Code but instead of gay France there's like Slendermen and this is REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Runner Post 4/96 Chapter 1 part four

I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator.

I know I said the blog was over and that I was giving up but take a look at this:

THERE WAS A PROXY AT MY FRONT DOOR.


I HAD to leave. So I punched him in the face and ran out the door and the entire street was empty, too empty, so I ran to my friend Betsy's house and he told me "It has begun" so we both drove to a hotel and booked a room. Things were going well but then there was a knock at the door and there was Slenderman so I ran and hid in the refrigerator and here I am.

I don't think he's heard me typing, though I'm typing pretty loudly. Uh-oh, he just opened the door.

..he grabbed a can of beer and then closed it again. I'm so scared right now.

Runner Post 2/96 Chapter 1 part two

I've been walking a very long way. I'm already at the east coast, I'm at New Jersey. On the way, I met this guy calling himself Jack Oval. Or something. Sounds Russian.

So we walked along a bit and then this guy showed up wearing a mask, and I took a picture of him.

I knew immediately that this guy was going to kill me, so I shot him because I got a gun at the nearest town. And as he died, we had a conversation.

"The... destiny..... of the... forerunners..... is..... coming to.... fruition.... my friend..... and you might be wondering... a few things.... well let me tell you.... I can tell you.... everything.... or I can tell you.... nothing...... and that is my choice... so I will tell you.... everything..... because I just realized...... I am going to die..... and my wife will never know.... my name.... or my..... allegiance to... the... Tall Thin Prince of Darkness and Chaos......"

I said "Do you mean the Slenderman?" and he said "No... I... mean.... The Unnamed Child....." "What is the Unnamed Child" I said? "The.. Unnamed Child.. is this...... hive mind... of birds....... the Fear of Death........"

I suddenly realized exactly what he was talking about. There were one-hundred and twenty-two birds surrounding us, so I screamed and they flew away.

The man chuckled and coughed up blood. "You will... never...... be free........ ever again....." and I asked "What's your name?" "Hoo... hoo... hoo..... my name.. is Obama......."

Of course. That explains the notes I have been receiving for the past week saying "OBAMA IS COMING TO KILL YOU."

"Tell my wife..... that I..... love her......" So I put on some sunglasses and said "I imagine she knows that." And then Jack pressed Play on a nearby TV and CSI Miami came on and it was exactly at the intro.

Then he died and we moved on. Proxies are stupid, I hate them.

Runner Post 1/96 Chapter 1 part one

The strangest thing happened: Slenderman actually appeared. I was driving to my girlfriend's house (because I forgot to mention I can drive and I have a girlfriend) and I happened to have my camera out on the dashboard when he appeared.

I swear to god it was him, and so I ran him over but then he ran after my car and I drove faster. Just when I thought I was gonna get away, I saw him hijack a car and drive after me and we had a car chase.

We drove through so many streets and we even drove through Downtown and the cops started chasing us so we helped each other escape (because even Slenderman agrees: Fuck da po-lice, seriously) and by the time we had gotten away, we were in Ohio (we were originally in California).

So around here, I noticed Slenderman was no longer chasing me and that I was alone. But then I heard a loud honk and saw (I expected to see Lord English or Gamzee, hahaha) a giant sixteen-wheeler truck with "KFC FREE CHICKEN" on the side headed right for my car and we were now in a one-lane road, so I dived out of the car and did a double-somersault into some bushes and it stung and behind me the truck smashed into my car and wrecked it, and as it drove by I looked in the passenger's seat and there was Slenderman but in the driver's seat there was a black dog!!!!!!!

Now I am on the run. I guess I'm a Runner, just like Morningstar or Alex (you know the one I mean). Luckily I had made sure to bring my badass Hibachi XK2L7 HeroHaruHorakajilapidos 8X5''' blades, complete with engraved indigo ivory holsters and thirty cup holders in the shape of tits. Because I knew I would go on the Run.

But now I am trying to figure out what the deal was with that dog that was with Slenderman. I mean, what is this, the Slender Scooby-Doo Show, hahaha! It's so gay?

Opening Post 7/8

Oh fuck oh shit he's commenting on my posts now oh god this is absolutely terrifying, this is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, I know I'm an attention-whore but this is a scary kind of attention!

I told my parents today about this stalker who's commenting on my blog and they told me I was freaking out over nothing, my parents suck they are so horrible to me, they always treated me like this growing up and it made me dark and moody and a tortured genious and this is why I'm so popular.

They even told me that the giant doll that sat in my room when I slept was all in my head, why are they so mean. On some nights, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and the doll would be sitting on me and she'd put a finger over my lips and say "Shhhhhh, you are going to write a Fearblog." And then I'd fall asleep again. BUT NOBODY BELIEVES ME.

Sometimes I'd spend nights just crying and reading OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING and wishing that I could be like Jordan, that I could meet Salmacis and have a good life instead of this lame boring life that I hate.

Also today on the way to my Dressage Horse contest or whatever it is I do uh COLLEGE, on my way to college I saw a guy wearing a gas mask spraypainting tags on the walls. He left and I took a picture of the strange symbol he drew.

This is all so confusing.

Opening Post 4/8

I took a picture of my street on the way to school today. Because I had a school project where I had to take a picture of my street on the way to school.

There's something odd about the picture, but I can't quite put my finger on it.