Hey, my name is Billy Everyblogger, but you can just call me THE CRYPTIC KEEPER because badass nicknames are eyecatching and I want more readers. This is a Fearblog that will be about Slenderman but I'm calling it a Fearblog because it'll get me more attention. But of course, this is the opening section of the blog and here I have to keep a sense of realism so your immersion can be fine, so I am currently in college.
I am seventeen but in college because fuck you. I have a healthy dosage of cynicism, and I totally love that one webcomic named Homestuck. I do things ironically because hipsters are so cool, all my friends are hipsters and so I had to become one too. But I hate the mainstream things. I like to wear plaid, my hair is brown but I dye it green to look cool, I have blue eyes and little scratches across my face that I like to call "battle scars" but I really just got them by falling into bushes. I have several swords and stuff in my room, but I tell people I'm a bookworm because books are intellectual and get me attention. I love wearing sunglasses at all times.
I have three friends who come crash at my place at random intervals, and we get drunk because fuck da po-lice, lolololol.
I started this blog because blogs are cool and all my friends have blogs, and I'm probably not going to ever do anything with this blog ever, ignore the fact that you are reading a work of fiction and that the very existence of this blog is so that people can find out what happens to me as I am chased by Slenderman, but that comes later so I'm going to stick to skepticism.
Nobody is ever going to follow this blog.
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